When we feel self conscious about our bodies, we do not want to be seen. We almost put this invisibility cloak over us. It can be literally refusing to go in front of the camera. Or it can be that we are trying to hide energetically. If you post a photo of video of you whilst you feel self conscious, your subconscious might literally make that post or photo invisible. No one will watch it. That is how powerful the subconscious is. Sometimes, it is others who overlook us. I share in the podcast episode the story of a client of mine who put a significant amount of weight due to health reasons and who was gobsmacked to see how certain people at work started to treat her differently when she was heavier. They started talking over her, as if her weight had somehow nullified her expertise. Sadly the bias towards overweight people is real and perhaps we hold ourselves back because of the fear of the judgment we feel people will cast upon us when we hold onto extra weight.
How do we overcome that feeling? How do we get started so we no longer use our weight as an excuse not to do what we are supposed to do. I call that the “wait problem”: waiting until you have the perfect body to follow your dreams.
The best thing to do is to act as if. Fake it. This will create a virtuous circle. When you act as if, you get over yourself, life becomes more interesting and you use food less as a crutch because you are finally living your dreams. This fear of judgment is in mostly in your head. By getting in front of the camera, you give yourself the only permission you need: be yourself.
In the podcast, I share how I had a really poor self image until I did a professional photo shoot for the cover of the Journey of the Slim Soul in 2009. And how this photo shoot changed the way I saw myself but also trapped me into this need to be perfect before I show up. Luckily, I decided to overcome that and went on a journey to take selfies. At first I could not even bring myself to smile on these photos. I had what I called my “resting bitch face”. Everyone said “Why don’t you smile?”, but I hated my cheeks and I thought I looked like a hamster when I smiled. After six months of taking regular selfies, I was finally able to relax enough to start smiling. And that is when my business really picked up.
Then I moved onto video, particularly Facebook lives. I started by interviewing others on my page so it did not feel like I was in the spotlight. After six months of interviews on my page, I plucked up the courage to show up alone. If you had asked me back then why I did not do facebook lives, I would have told you that it was because I didn’t have the time though. I was not aware that it was my body image that was holding me back.
Showing up as yourself as an immense benefit: You filter out the judgmental people. The people who will not like you because of your weight and body image. Isn’t that a wonderful thing? You might even attract people who need you as an inspiration so they pluck up the courage to do what you do.
If you would like to have more support to get on camera, I am running a five day experience for women in a private group on Facebook starting on the 11th of February. The investment is £32. You can join here.
In the podcast episode I share about the different things you can do to present at your best in selfies. Sometimes it is just a question of time in the day, the direction of the camera, and small tweaks. I also encourage you to use EFT (emotional freedom technique) to tap on these fears before you take the leap. You can find a video here where I explain how to tap with EFT.
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(c) Ange de Lumiere 2019