Who has not experienced bullying in early life or later on in business or trauma? In this week’s podcast episode with Anita Kaiser of Anita Kaiser Wellness, we discussed what happens when we suffer from anxiety due to past or present bullying or trauma and how to overcome that anxiety. Anita specialises in a modality called Emotional Freedom Technique which helps deal with emotions that are trapped in our bodies – a tool that a lot of entrepreneurs already use for good effect to help with their mindsets. EFT works by tapping on energy meridians and points on the body whilst speaking words around emotions that surface. It can also work on physical sensations such as pain.
What most people do not realise is that trauma and bullying are often downplayed, as a coping mechanism, so we try to ignore what is happening, especially our feelings around it. Our reptile brain turns on a response that most people identify as Fight or Flight but Anita highlighted that there is two more responses: Freeze and Fold. The problem is that if we experience repetitive events of the same kind this can become our default mode and we tend to “fly off the handle” easily about situations that really don’t warrant our reactions. This should be an alerting sign.
Our nervous systems need to calm down and come back to a normal mode but a lot of jobs and professions do not allow for that to happen. In my former job as an international lawyer, I was surrounded by people who thrived on adrenaline rush. The coffee machine was on permanently and people bragged about how many hours they spent in the office. It was even a culture. The same happens with doctors and many high profile professionals. This sadly, however, can lead to disease and even mental illness, which is why i felt the urge to offer a blog and podcast episode about this.
We also discussed how we could change that culture and sadly, although it is not possible to do anything about it when you are at a lower echelon of the system, you can start helping yourself right away by practising EFT. You don’t need any formal training and there are many you tube videos on the subject that you can watch. It is important, however, to know that self help is ok for what is called “small Ts”, that is to say small traumas, but that for the big Ts, it is preferable to seek the help of a trusted professional who can hold a safe space for you to explore those emotions.
Perhaps the first thing to realise, if you suffer from anxiety, is that you are not alone. There are thousands of people just like you, including incredibly high achievers. They just don’t talk about it openly. Experiencing anxiety or bullying does not make you a loser. There is no shame to have around it. If you keep it a secret or suffer in silence, all it will do is corrupt your existence and get worse, because it does not go away merely by ignoring it. If anything, it will sink deeper into your experience and inform everything in your life. If you are suffering from anxiety, know that there is something you can do. Maybe just by listening to the podcast episode below or on iTunes.
In the podcast, I mention a book that I found very useful to open my eyes to what is abuse: Jay Carter’s Nasty Men. Sadly this title is no longer in print but you can find it second hand.
Thank you for your attention.
(c) Ange de Lumiere 2019