Women hold onto weight for different reasons than men do. This is why for most of us, the advice of eat less and exercise more does not work. Why do I care about women’s weight as a intuitive business strategist? Because I realised that our weight often holds us back in our business even if we are not aware that it does. I had an awakening moment about this on my birthday on the 6th of November (2018) when I was able to see that I had missed a golden opportunity to become a published author because of my weight. Believe me, if I could turn the clock back on that one, I would, as I also lost my agent. This is not something I would wish for you.
Why should we care about the reason why we put on weight? Because depending on the reason, the best course of action to release that weight will be different. So let’s dig in.
Reason #1: Bad habits that compound
This is the easiest to address. We snack here and there or have a daily mocha at the coffee shop and because we do this every day, we put on weight in very subtle ways and we only realise months or decades later. To course correct this, what we need to do is have a hard look at our habits. There are some common offenders: that extra cake, snack, maybe not drinking enough water, stress and last but not least lack of restorative sleep. All these can contribute to us putting on weight. The solution is to identity which habit is the easiest to change and work at it until we master it. Then we move onto the next one and again, work on it until we master it. This method does not offer the quick results of a diet but it is effective. I call it the slim for life, not just for the holidays, method. I love it. Any personal trainer or coach can help you with this course of action as long as they can offer a lasting habit change and don’t suck you into the dieting mentality of trying to change everything at once.
Reason #2: A deep rooted belief that being slim is not safe
Here we are exploring another level of slimming: the mental one. If we hold a belief that being slim (or sexy – although I realise the two are not necessarily related) is not safe, then no matter how much we try to lose weight, it will be a battle of will. We want to dig into the subconscious and find out what beliefs contradict our desire to be slimmer. The best way to do this is to imagine yourself thin and check in how you feel as you do. If it does not feel good, you are onto something. Luckily I offer a webinar where I help you explore this through a guided meditation. If you would like to have access to the webinar replay, click here. This is an opt in that will add you to my mailing list. You will receive juicy content on how to slim without dieting, scales and strenuous exercise and occasional offers.
Reason #3: Trauma
Sadly, I have experienced a fair amount of trauma in my life and every single time, I have puffed up like a tetraodontidae (aka Pufferfish). It is only when I trained in clinical hypnotherapy, however, that it started to make sense to me. The amygdala, the part of our brain that makes sure we stay safe, also governs our metabolism and digestion. If the amygdala receives a signal that you are in danger (and trauma certainly is), it will activate the fight or flight response. But for women, that response is more likely to be “freeze” because women are usually not as strong as men and often have children in their care, which means the fight and flight options are not actually real options. Who can run with their children on tow? As a consequence, the most likely response to trauma will be to freeze and one of the side effects or consequence of that is that we put on weight. In order to release the weight, we need to work on our trauma. This can be done with a qualified therapist, healer or energy worker. I am not going to prescribe which one you should go with. The modality is not as important as the person. I would want you to go for someone that you feel called to and that you can trust.
Reason #4: Carrying a metaphorical weight
Again this is quite common for women who tend to be put in the position of carer, whether of their own children or other people, by society. Collectively this has created an energy that leads to women carrying “the weight of the world on their shoulders’ and possibly carrying too much. It is important if this energy is strong in your life to identify the pattern and change it. This is really common for empaths who carry other people’s energies, but it also transpires in the mothering energy of wanting to make things better for others. This is actually not healthy for the carrier nor for the person that is “assisted’ as it rubs them of their responsibility. This is a fine balance to tread as a mother/carer. If you see this pattern in you and suffer from carrying on extra weight, then looking into these mental and emotional patterns can really help release some weight in the physical. In this case, I would recommend someone who works with mindset and energy.
Reason #5: Soul deprivation
We can also put on weight when we have sacrificed our dreams to do the “right thing”, but this leaves us deprived, frustrated and often hungry for more. We numb ourselves with food to cope with the fact that we have sacrificed our needs and this leads to a very unhealthy and potentially explosive situation where resentment can fester. If you see some truth in what I just wrote, I would encourage you to stop that sacrifice pattern and start implementing your dreams. Small steps is all that is needed. You could merely research your dreams for now. Start making a plan. And then taking baby steps. Make that one phone call. Meeting that person. Until you have taken enough steps that your life starts to lighten up. Food will no longer be a couch. In this instance, I would probably recommend a coach or a spiritual mentor. Whichever one you feel most called to.
If you found this blog interesting, you might want to check my podcast episode on the same topic. You can listen to it here below or click here to listen to it on iTunes.
If you would like to work with me I offer one to tone session in the akashic records to help identify the cause of your weight issue and the best strategies for you to move forward on this weight release journey. You can book your session here. The investment is £167 for one hour.
If you would like to be the first to know when my book the Journey of the slim soul, a holistic approach to slimming without scales, dieting or strenuous exercise is released, click here. (this is a mailing list)
Thank you for reading.
(c) Ange de Lumiere 2019