If you think confident and successful people do not experience fear, you are misled. Most people experience fear. In fact, the only people who do not experience fears are psychopaths. The most common fears are the fear of failure, the fear of success, the fear of visibility, the fear of criticism, the fear of ridicule and the fear of committing to only one thing. If you can think of a common fear that I missed, I would love for you to comment on this blog post and share with us.
Fears appear at all stages of business no matter what you are doing and which area you are focusing on. The thing that some people misunderstand however, is that fear often wears a mask. Fear rarely appears as what it is. It loves to shapeshifter because its power is in vagueness and in changing so you cannot pin it down. So fears will usually show up as unhelpful beliefs such as: I don’t have enough time, I don’t have enough money, I am not ready, I don’t have enough expertise or experience yet, it is not the right time or I am not good enough. When you hear yourself say these things, or think these thoughts, stop for a second and ask yourself, is this real or is this fear wearing a mask.
Fear is a good thing. It is inbuilt in us to keep us alive but the fear centre is not able to discriminate between real danger and imagined danger. In a society where we are constantly bombarded with fearful messages, our fear centre gets a lot of focus and what we focus on gets bigger so there is a danger in becoming rather fearful, on a permanent basis. The reality is we have to act despite our fears but not so much that it takes us into our terror zone. So if you don’t feel any fear, it means you are in your comfort zone, which in turns means you are not taking enough risks.
Here are my six tips to deal with fear:
- Stop and take stock of the fact that you have a fear (don’t try to ignore it)
- Remind yourself that fear only has power over you if you let it
- Realise that what you fear might never happen
- Name the fear: fear tends to vanish the moment you name it – its power lies in vagueness
- Welcome it: feeling fear means you are not staying in your comfort zone
- Journal it out (and if you are not quite sure how to do that, I invite you to listen to episode 2 of my podcast)
And for those of you who have a book but have fears niggling them about whether they have it in them to actually write and publish a book, I have a fabulous five week course called Get Started with your book that starts next Monday (the 8th of July) and module 3 is about how to shine a light on your fears. The course is limited to five female entrepreneurs and the investment is £599. Click here to find out more.
(c) Ange de Lumiere 2019